Thoughts And Wishes
by Lilsi
Summary: A Story of Young Love: - Sirius Black & Remus Lupin...


**Thoughts And Wishes**

**DISCLAIMERS:** I do not own any of the harry potter characters weeps and im not making any profit out of this story weeps more

**PARING:** Sirius Black and Remus Lupin... Umm droolage

**SUMMERY:** Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius but can they tell each other or will they let it pass... A Story of Young Love: - Sirius Black & Remus Lupin...

**RATING:** R

**WARNING:** Slash. Yes this means **'Gay'** You don't like you don't read...**OK?**

**A/N:** Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

* * *

(Sirius P.O.V) 

I sat staring, I did it a lot now, I couldn't help myself, he was amazing.

Remus Lupin, the way his eyes shone brown with amber flecks throughout them, and when he smiled, his amazing smile so warm and full it always felt as if it was meant for just me. I stared; I was quite surprised how no one had not noticed as I always did it, and the way I acted around him. That's why I did so many stupid things, that's why I act the way I do with girls, I don't stay with any of them long, I just do it to make Remus notice me. Remus isn't that an amazing name, Remus Lupin…..Remus Black, Sirius Lupin…..What am I thinking, ah Remus, if only he felt the way I did towards him to me…if only.

* * *

He's doing it again, I can feel his eyes, boring into me, I don't know why he does it, but I don't mind, they are his eyes, his grey eyes that gaze can hold me and pull me into his soul…..he's doing it staring into me, why is he doing it, is he trying to test my senesces, I would turn around to look at him, but I know that the flush on my face would give to much away. I wonder what he would do if he knew my thoughts…. Would he smile at me again, ah his smile, the grin that says I have done something and you don't know what, that mischievous grin, I love that grin. I love the lips that shape that grin, those lips so sweet, deep red, full, I wonder how soft they are, how skilled his kisses would be, those girls of his don't know how lucky they are.

* * *

Is he ok, I can't stand it; I wish I could take the pain away from him, he doesn't deserve this pain? I sit next to him stroking a strand of hair out of his face, his face with new cuts across it, his beautiful face, how do you do it, how do you live with this pain…. I wish it was my pain I can't stand you being in pain. You stir in your sleep eyes fluttering, what are you dreaming, are you dreaming of this nights events, are you dreaming of running free and wild, or could you be dreaming of me……I so wish you are dreaming of me….your mouth utters a word, I wish I knew what that word was, maybe I could have a clue to your dreams……those sweet dreams of yours, oh I want to take away your pain.

* * *

I wake up to see him there by my side as he always is, his friendship means so much he's so loyal, I guess that's why he is my closest friend, that's why Padfoot is Moony's best pack mate. His hand lying across onto my bed, he looks so sweet and innocent when sleeping, childlike and so…so handsome, I reach out and caress his hand softly careful not to wake him… I wish I could do this when he's awake, he stirs in his sleep, he grins, I wonder if it's because of my stroking, or maybe a dream he is having. His dreams full of pretty girls I bet….if only they were dreams of me, like mine was, that dream I was with him kissing him holding him, Sirius was mine, and I was his, Remus Black, Sirius Lupin, what am I thinking……sleep on beauty don't wake not yet…..he looks so handsome.

* * *

God who cares this lesson is so boring, I can't do it, I won't ever be able to do it, but the good thing about this class, I get to be with him for the whole time, Remus who's so clever, brilliant, amazing and just is. The way his brow crinkles as he measures out the right amount of crushed beetle powder, the way he has to get it just right, I love his perfection, as it makes him more perfect, not that it is possible, just look at him, his graceful moves, his calmness, the way he reserves his smiles and laughter just for the right time, which makes you beam because you made him smile like that or laugh like that…..I wish I could always make him laugh and smile, I wish I could make him do more than that too, but I guess dreaming is best kept for the darkness of the night. Dreams that come and take me into bliss where I can hold him and kiss him and make him howl and….he's looking at me, oh god no, am I blushing…I need to stop thinking about those dreams in class, god am I so obvious.

* * *

I love potions it's so easy not very important but so easy and what makes it so amazing is that I'm always with him, he sits and watches me, pretending to be listening, but I know better, but I don't care because as he is looking at me, letting my words go through his head as he daydreams about what I wish I knew, I wonder if its about his new girl what was her name…..Cindy, no that was the last one, my brow crinkles as I try to remember, maybe he hasn't got one at the moment. I look over at him his grey eyes look clouded over, I wonder what he is dreaming about. He snaps out of his dream land, is he blushing…..why he would blush because of me.

* * *

Why is he looking at me like that I wish he would stop, if he knew what it did to me.…

* * *

He's blushing even more now, I smile slightly and turn back to work, I hope I didn't to something to embarrass him.

* * *

Everyone is gone, the whole of Gryffindor is ours, and he stayed, he said he stayed because he didn't want me to be alone, he's so amazing and sweet, he's the only one who can understand me, understand why I don't want to go back to them, those cold people who happen to share the name Black. He knows because he has been there, I wish he hadn't been there but because it links us closer together I'm happy with it and thankful for it. Look at him, laying there on his bed legs in the air swaying up and down slightly as he reads some book.

* * *

A whole holiday with him, just him I swing my legs in joy, I try and concentrate on the book I have to read but its to hard, I can feel his eyes on me again, why does he do it, ok so I'm looking up into those eyes now, for the first time I look into them looking for the answer. His grey eyes startled slightly as I look deep into them searching, was what I thought was there actually there, it can't be I frown slightly, oh god he's blushing again, I seem to have developed a skill at making him blush. I don't mind it makes him look so cute, I make him blush in my dreams, I grin slightly, if only he knew…

* * *

Oh god did he see it, he's grinning now, god no I'm blushing again, did he see it, the want the longing, he childish lusting and the whole of my love, could he have seen it god no… stop blushing, "sorry" I say….why did I say sorry, now he's looking at me like I'm some weird…….god why do I do it.

* * *

"Sorry" his voice is quite as if he is apologising for his own embarrassment, I give him my 'your strange but amazing' look, I climb off the bed and sit next to him, he looks up slowly to look at me, I push him lightly "your strange Sirius" I say I laugh as he smiles and his blush goes.

* * *

I push him back, slightly harder he falls backwards onto his back. Wow he's just there lying on my bed just like my dreams, he's closing his eyes a blush showing on his face slightly, or maybe its just my eyes, I lean over to help him back up.

* * *

What am I doing I'm lying on his bed, I can feel the blush coming I fight it before it can show properly, he must know the truth; he's leaning over me to help me up smiling slightly. I look up, hello Sirius I think, are you coming to join me, I think you are don't you……..I pull him before he knows what's happening…… he falls to lay next to me he's smiling even more now…. I made him smile like……. No he isn't smiling like that it can't be, can it?

* * *

He's pulled me next to him I'm lying next to him smiling, my sinful smile I know it will show him what I am thinking, I know that it will show him the truth but I cant help it I cant stop the smile from coming, I'm lying next to him on the same bed, I can feel his leg up next to mine, I can feel his warmth I can feel the heat radiating off of him, I breath in, I can smell his scent the oh so woody, wolfish, free smell, the smell of books and knowledge the best smell in the world the smell of Remus himself.

* * *

His eyes close as he breaths in, surly this cant be I want it so much, I go for the risk, the thing that could change everything, I lift my hand and I stroke his cheek, it's as soft as I had imagined it, so soft smooth so him. His eyes flutter open his smile widening, he lift his own hand and grabs mine, he's…my eyes open wide can this be, surly it is a dream. Cruel and pleasurable dream, please leave, it's too real I can't take the pain I will feel when I wake to find him not there…

* * *

I bring his hand to my lips and kiss his palm…how long have I waited, months, years, forever…..his eyes are open wide, but he does not pull away, so I do the opposite, I pull him closer, and I kiss him………my body is screaming, in my head I'm cheering, I'm kissing him, kissing HIM, yes, Yess, Yessssssssssss.

* * *

He's kissing me, kissing me, my body is responding, so long I have waited, so long I growl in pleasure, I nip at his lip as I kiss him deeply back, in my head the wolf howls, something inside me says mine, I smile into the kiss even more……

* * *

He growled, did he just do it, something inside me cried out, I'm his, he's mine, he deepens his kisses, I groan, can this be happening, surly this is a cruel dream. I grab his arms and pin them above his head, I role on top of him, straddling his hips, he groans, and makes a canine sound deep in his throat. I grin looking down at him, I lower my head and start to kiss him again, I move from his lips to kiss his eyes, they were so soft, his cheek, so sweet, I nip at the bottom of his ear, he groans, sending a new shiver down my spine, I made him groan. I move onto his neck, he lifts it slightly to the side; I bite softly at it leaving my mark.

* * *

He's straddling me, he's kissing me, he's on my neck, I lift it to show my submission, as he bites softly at the skin beneath those silky soft lips, so sweet, so very sweet. I'm groaning I can feel him; I want to feel more of him….. I need to feel more…. I lift his robe up, my eyes widen, the bare skin of his chest so warm against my skin, I pull the robe up and over his head, we barley separate for a second, his hands wondering lifting my own robe and shirt in one go.

* * *

My robe is gone, so now is his, his smooth chest beginning to glisten lightly from sweat, the smooth muscles, I rub my hand from his neck all the way down to his pelvis, stoking, massaging, as I gently kiss his lips again, I look down at his chest covered in so many scars. The pain he had to feel, I'm here now to stop the pain as much as I can, I run a finger along a long scar he had across his ribs.

* * *

His chest is so amazing, slightly tanned, with muscles rippling as he moves, sweat glistening. He's stoking down my chest, massaging with skilled hands, he's running a hand over a scar, so careful, so sweet so kind, so soft….he lowers his head again to kiss the scar, as if to kiss away the pain I would have felt.

* * *

I'm kissing his chest; I can hear his heart beating so fast, its rhythm matching my own hearts beating. "Sirius" his voice is soft so full of passion, it sends me into a new level of passion, I kiss his lips again deeply, my tongue playing across his, teasing him, he tastes so good, I am going to drown in his taste, so lush, so fresh, so mine… I start to move down his torso, kissing his neck, kissing his chest, I nip at his nipples, tongue swirling around them, I move further down kissing that scar that caused him so much pain but will now only cause pleasure, I kiss his stomach, the muscles convulsing under the touch of my mouth, under the tongue bath I am giving his light silky skin.

* * *

He's moving down my chest, playing all the way, I'm making noises I have never made before, growls and groans, god he's so amazing. I move my hands through his silk hair, over his muscled back feeling the way the muscles move with his movement, he's stopped; I look down panting…… he's asking me a question, a question that could change everything, his hands asking the question, hands that are slowly sliding over my jeans, over my thighs, he grabs the loops in the jeans, pulling at them and lifting my hips slightly with them.

* * *

I slide my hands over his thighs, I can feel the muscles in his legs, I'm looking into his eyes asking the question with my hands, I find the loops in his trousers, pulling them and lifting his hips up with my pull. I grin up at him, I move my hands again this time to the back of his jeans, and I run my hands over his ass. I grin even more as his eyes widen then close. I slide myself up his body again, and kiss his lips, my hands pull his hips forward so both our hips grind against each other, his eyes open again wide as he groans even more…… "Oh God", I smile at his words, kiss him, "Oh Yes" I reply….

* * *

I can feel him against me, its getting too much, I cry out "Oh God" he kisses me again…. I can barley breathe, "Oh Yes" he replies to my words, I grin back at him, sweat shining all over his chest now, I slide my hand down his lightly muscled chest, then slide them around his back, moving slowly downwards, I move my hands either side of his hips and pull him closer to me, he moves his hands around the front of my jeans, I smile up at him, showing both excitement and nervousness.

* * *

He looks slightly nervous, but more excited, I unzip his jeans, and pull them down, nerves showing more in his face now, I look deep into his eyes, I stop what I'm doing, asking the question with a loving look, he answers the look by grabbing my hands and moving them up his thighs himself, I lean forward as he lets my hands go, he moves them back and kneads into my back with them, I kiss him deeply moving my hand slowly in rhythm, his eyes widen slowly. I look into his eyes, he groans I smile…..how long I have waited…….months, years, and its now here and I can't believe it myself, I bite at his neck again….

* * *

Oh My God…….Oh My God……..I can't believe it, his hand moving faster now, I start to shake, God…….. I groan loudly, he's biting my neck again, I grin…….. He can always be on top…….. How does he know how to do this to me, God…….. My eyes widen even more as my body begins to shake, a rumbling in his throat tells me he's growling in pleasure…..of his power over me…..he knows what's happening, I start to howl……..

* * *

I growl, grinning my sinful smile, as he starts to shake……I did this…. He starts to howl, I have never heard anything so wonderful in my life…..neither so loud….. I wouldn't be surprised if the owls had flown from the owlery at the amazing sound…. His eyes are glazed over, as he comes back down to earth, he's panting…… there it is, the blush, he reddens as he looks at me, I lean down and kiss him deeply…. God he's so Cute, So very Handsome, So very Mine.

* * *

I can't see my eyes are glazed over in some white light…. I start to come down from my high, my eyes are un-clouding, I'm still shaking….he's supporting me his hands running up and down my back, softly caressing my skin…. He's looking at me with that sinful smile, I blush slightly still panting getting my breath back… he leans down and kisses me……. God he's so Sweet, so Handsome, I'm staying his forever…..

* * *

I wake up with him cuddled against me, his head against my chest his arm around my waist, I smile down and brush his hair from his face….he looks so peaceful, he's smiling, I know what he's dreaming of now, it's the same dream as I had, I smile and kiss his forehead…. I lay with him stroking his soft velvet hair, the light shining off of it, making is shine so many beautiful colours, beautiful because they are part of him…. I could lay next to him forever, content and happy just holding him.

* * *

I wake up against his chest and my arm draped around his waist, I keep my eyes closed, just content to stay like this, breathing in his scent, fresh, wild, like the wind and wild flowers, untamed feral and free. I smile as I feel his hand stroking my hair. I look up and smile at him, he smiles down at me, moving his head down to kiss me lightly on the lips "Hello Lover" he says as his hand strokes my cheek. I smile and flush slightly at his words, "Hello Mate" I reply back to him, he grins down at me like the school boy he is.

* * *

He called me his mate, I smile at the word like some school boy at there crush. He's looking at me with his eyes, showing all the emotions, so open I can see into his soul, his wonderful soul, I feel slightly shocked at the depth of his eyes and his openness. I let him look into me, he grins.

* * *

He's opening himself to me; I can see all the emotions. I grin up at him and kiss him, softly my tongue playing with his own, we break apart panting…. I get up the sheet falling down off my chest and resting above my hips, he takes me in and grins sheepishly. I look down and see all the marks his playful mouth caused the night before.

* * *

Did I do all of them, I grin at him; he looks down and smiles…. I guess I was a little playful….. I grin wider when I see the marks I had left on his neck. He looks at me and gives me a puzzled expression, I smile and rub a hand against his neck, he raises an eyebrow, God he looks so cute when he does that, I need to make him do that again… He stands up the sheet coming off of him, my eyes widen and I gasp at the sight.

* * *

I stand up to move to the mirror in the corner or the dormitory. The sheet fell off me and I hear the gasp escape from Sirius' mouth, I blush slightly, and carry on towards the mirror, I can feel his eyes watching me…….following my naked form to the mirror. I look into the mirror and see my neck, it was covered in unmistakable love bites, I raise my eyebrows and grin at Sirius' reflection in the mirror behind me, he looked at me from the bed and blushed slightly… he's so cute when he's blushing.

* * *

I blush as he raises his eyebrows at me… I duck my head grinning slightly….he just carried on walking, naked, like it didn't matter….. Teasing me of course, I grab his robes from the floor and do the same, he watches me approach him from the mirror smiling at me, I see his eyes move up my body appreciatively a smile forming on his lips. I reach around his waist and pull him into me; I hold his hips and bury my face into his neck, nuzzling at his skin….. I lift my face and rest it on his shoulder.

* * *

We watch each other from the mirror, my arms wrapped around his, as he holds me close to his body……I turn my head and kiss his cheek, he smiles at me for the gesture, we watch each other for a while, just looking at how we fitted together so perfectly. I hear a growl….. I raise my eyebrows and laugh at him; he's blushing slightly but grinning as well. I grab my robe from his hand and slid it over my head.

* * *

We walked into the great hall and got some food, I couldn't help but keep looking at him, giving him secret glances and grinning sheepishly when he just looked at me and laughed. I sat down at the Gryffindor table and watched him… I love the way he eats, so amazing…. I love the way he looks at me…….. "Sirius…."

* * *

"Yes…." His voice replies to his name, "Stop It" I grin at him, he's blushing again… I laugh, under the table I rub my leg against his, he's smiling at me and starts to eat his breakfast again.

* * *

He's lying against me, they are coming back soon, tonight……I stroke his hair, as he sings a tune quietly, his voice floating throughout the room.... "What are we going to tell them", I say suddenly, his singing stops….. "I...I don't know" he sighs, I stroke his hair thinking. "Lupin" I murmur, "umm", "How about we show them" I grin to myself, picturing James' face…..

* * *

I turn around to face him…..my arms on his legs as I look up into his eyes….they glinted with a picture in them…… "Show them…" I say slowly, he grins at me….. I grin with him…… "Show them" we both say at once and laugh. Once I stopped laughing, I give him one of my looks, his laughing stops immediately….. I put my hands either side of him and crawl on my knees, up his torso…… He looks at me smiling, awaiting my now common and familiar lips.

* * *

He's smiling but looks slightly nervous at the same time; they arrived back just a short while ago, I feel nervous myself, we keep giving each other secret glances. 

"How has your holiday been Prongs" I ask, "Very productive, me and Lily had a great time, How about You Padfoot"….. I smile my eyes twinkling, "Remus….How was our holiday" I say looking over to my lover, he seemed slightly nervous but got over it and walked up next to me, smiling into my eyes...

* * *

"Oh I would say it was Very productive too" I grinned at Sirius whose eyes held a secret promise….. "Well are you going to tell us" James interrupted…. Peter was looking intrigued now as well….. "Oh I'm not sure… What do you think…Tell them… or Show them" I looked over at Sirius who was starting to walk closer to me.

* * *

We were grinning; the practiced conversation was working to plan. "I think…Show them" Remus practically beaming at me…. "SHOW US WHAT?" James was getting annoyed…. So we showed them……. I moved closer to Remus, bringing my hand to his face I cupped his cheek, moving my hand round the back of his head I brought his head closer to mine…..we closed our eyes and fell into the world of the kiss…… when I opened my eyes again after separating our lips, looking into his eyes which flowed out his love for me…. I had almost forgotten what we had done it for.

* * *

Sirius pulled back from the kiss, I looked into his eyes, eyes that shone out his love for me, I smiled up at him…. I stepped slightly away from his body, his arm wrapped around my waist, I leaned against him, my head resting on his shoulder, I looked over at James and Peter.

* * *

"What the hell…..I mean….I……what……I…I don't understand" James, stuttered, Peter's eyes just looked as if they were about to fall out of his head…. "What do you want us to show you again" I grinned, and Remus poked me in the ribs. "James, me and Remus are, a couple…dating…lov…" Remus poked me in the ribs again before I could finish that word, he coughed slightly and I grinned at him. "You're dating" James' face was blank…. "Yes, James we are" I smiled down at Remus, he looked back up at me, our devotion to each other obvious to anyone who saw the loving look we gave each other.

* * *

I looked back at James his expression changed slightly, "Oh….ok….. Are you sure… This is real isn't it?" I nodded at him, Sirius' hand pressed against my waist in a comforting gesture… "Yes James, it's very real"…. James' expression softened, but stayed serious….. "In that case, I hope you're happy"….. James smiled lightly…..Peter said nothing but gave a weak smile that didn't reach his eyes. I guess he needs to get used to the idea I thought.

* * *

"Goodnight Remus" I said as I kissed his lips softly, taking in his taste, so sweet, "Goodnight Sirius" he replied after the kiss……

* * *

"Goodnight Remus" he said to me and kissed me lightly, his soft lips so sweet, "Goodnight Sirius" I replied after the kiss……..

* * *

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**A/N:** Hope you liked my story, it was my first soo please Review hehehe... - x Thanks


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